Many have experienced this: seeing someone in their circle get what they themselves desire but don’t have, and feeling troubled. This, in fact, is jealousy showing itself.
Why Are We Prone to Jealousy? Because our minds are constantly preoccupied with our own interests, which we take as the guiding principle of life. The root cause lies in a strong attachment to self, in cherishing the self above all. Jealousy is a state of mind rooted in the fundamental drive to preserve one’s own pleasure. When we see others possessing benefits—whether spiritual or material—or watch them attain what we ourselves desire but have not yet obtained, we feel our own happiness is under threat. From this arises a resentful state of mind, and thus jealousy emerges.
Much of the contention within Buddhist communities often stems from jealousy. For example, everyone may practice together harmoniously at first, but when one practitioner gradually demonstrates greater learning and capability than others, or shares insights that surpass their own, some fellow practitioners begin to feel unsettled inwardly—even to the point of starting to undermine that person. This is jealousy at work.
The arising of jealousy can wound, even destroy, bodhicitta. It is a mentality of “begrudging others their happiness or success,” which stands in complete opposition to bodhicitta—one never hears of bodhisattvas being jealous of each other! It also directly conflicts with the path of eliminating self-grasping and attaining liberation and Buddhahood.
So, how should we counteract jealousy? We must contemplate the logic of “recognizing all beings as our mother,” “remembering their kindness,” and “repaying their kindness”[1] . We should reflect deeply: “Since this person was my mother in a past life, why should I feel jealous?” We must ponder this principle thoroughly until it becomes clear.
These are the first three of the "Seven Points of Mind Training" in the Kadampa tradition. In the teachings of the Kadampa school, there is a systematic method for cultivating bodhicitta known as the "Seven Points of Mind Training," which includes: 1. recognizing all beings as one's mother; 2. remembering their kindness; 3. repaying their kindness; 4. cultivating compassion ; 5. cultivating loving-kindness; 6. the resolve to attain enlightenment for the sake of all; and 7. the actual generation of bodhicitta.
If we find ourselves jealous of someone, we might try this inner shift: “I will not continue like this. May he/she have what I desire. If they do, may I too rejoice!” Another way is:“I sincerely wish for them to gain what I myself have longed for but failed to achieve”
In this world, there are many kinds of fleeting joy, such as wealth, companionship, beauty, or other auspicious conditions. Should others be endowed with these, even at the seeming cost to our own interests, we must train to feel happiness for them. Moreover, as Buddhists who seek the ultimate joy of liberation, if a fellow practitioner excels beyond us in learning and practice, or has realized awakening while we remain entangled, we should reflect: “No matter. I rejoice in their awakening. May it grow ever deeper, and may they quickly achieve Buddhahood.”
Appreciative joy can counteract jealousy, yet we must also recognize how difficult it is to give rise to a genuine mind of sympathetic joy. Therefore, we must continually watch our own mind. When we notice we are unhappy, we should tell ourselves: “I’m experiencing jealousy, or at least indifference.” Observe yourself, and relax your mind—easing the mind comes from thinking less about our own gains.
We should also tell ourselves: “Open your heart. My happiness is not founded upon any specific worldly condition.”
Where, then, is a Buddhist practitioner’s happiness founded? It is founded upon sentient beings attaining temporary happiness and ultimate liberation. Therefore, when beings gain temporary benefit, and may also—through practice—gain ultimate benefit, why should we not rejoice for them? We take the vow to attain Buddhahood precisely to liberate sentient beings, to enable them to have both temporary and ultimate happiness. If we do not rejoice in this, we act contrary to our own vow. If so, we will never become a bodhisattva, nor attain Buddhahood. For what Buddhas and bodhisattvas do is simply this: benefit sentient beings temporarily and ultimately.
This article is a preliminary translation draft and has not yet been reviewed or proofread by the speaker.
