—The Degree of Suffering Is Not Intense Enough
There are several levels from which we can examine why genuine renunciation (nekkhamma) fails to arise. The most obvious and superficial reason is that our perception of suffering is insufficient—that is, the suffering doesn’t feel intense enough.
As adults, almost all of us have experienced various forms of suffering: heartbreak, insomnia, and even the occasional financial loss. There is also the “suffering of not getting what one wants”—you wish to become wealthy but cannot; you want a high position but lack the opportunity; even when your Guru comes, you long to see him but cannot. That, too, is a form of unfulfilled desire. Then there is the suffering of separation from what we love—for example, when your Guru leaves, or when you accidentally lose your wallet. And of course, there is the suffering of birth, aging, sickness, and death. In short, as an adult, you inevitably experience suffering.
However, as mentioned earlier, these sufferings are often mixed with a certain sweetness. Precisely because of this, many people not only fail to develop aversion toward them, but even romanticize them, labelling them “flavor” or “life experience.” They may say, “This person has stories, has been through things—how admirable!” It is precisely these mistaken notions dull our sensitivity to the suffering of saṃsāra, because it is blended with too many pleasures and delights that we remain attached to.
For example, if we are now sitting in a luxurious villa discussing the dharma, from a certain perspective it feels pleasant and enjoyable. It is precisely because of our inner longing for such comforts that our perception of suffering becomes less acute. When the sense of suffering is insufficient, renunciation does not become powerful. It remains merely a thought in the mind—a concept—rather than a fierce and compelling resolve that drives you to let go of everything and wholeheartedly devote yourself to practice.
Today I was discussing with several Dharma brothers what genuine renunciation truly is. When liberation overrides everything else—that is renunciation. But if we reflect on ourselves, have we really reached the point where “liberation overrides everything”? During practice, we may declare in theory, “This is the most important thing. There is only this one path!” Yet when asked, “Are you going to practice tonight?” the answer may be, “I cannot—I have got a mahjong game tonight.” In that very moment, everything we just said is instantly overturned.
Some even go to their Guru and ask, “Master, I am getting married. My family insists on killing a chicken for the wedding banquet. Could you grant me a special dispensation?” Or, “On the day of the Eight-precept Vows (aṣṭāṅga-śīla), it is inconvenient for me to observe them. Can I just pick any other day that works for me?” Or again, “Can I first take care of all my worldly affairs and then come back to practice?”
In reality, this reveals a lack of strong renunciation. What does this mentality demand? It demands that after my many worldly desires have been satisfied, then I will take up the dharma as a tool for liberation. In this mindset, saṃsāra remains the main body of one’s life, while the Dharma and liberation are merely embellishments to saṃsāra—or at best, a kind of psychological comfort. It is as if one wants to secure every advantage: “If rebirth truly exists, then since I have studied the Dharma, I can still attain liberation—meanwhile, in this life, I have already enjoyed everything.”
Many practitioners think this way! But is it actually possible? It might be possible to gain some degree of worldly satisfaction while attaining liberation. But if you hold this mentality, you are destined not to attain liberation—you will not even achieve rebirth in a pure realm. Why? Because this mindset is fundamentally one of deep attachment to the worldly and to saṃsāra, even though one understands all the terminology and rhetoric of renunciation. We call this kind of renunciation “conceptual renunciation”
—Excerpted and adapted from Conceptual Renunciation and Genuine Renunciation
This article is a preliminary translation draft and has not yet been reviewed or proofread by the speaker.
